a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
