you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
