there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
