IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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