Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
