she peed on how many people?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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