I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
