well I can't set my house on fire every night
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
