What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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