so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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