im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
