They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
