i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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