New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
