??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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