If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we're making bets on your personal life
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
