Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
