its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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