I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
