Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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