Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
