I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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