I think my fart just growled at me.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
