is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
