I hate your face
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
