are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
