I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
