Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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