Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
