oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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