I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
