drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think I am morally bankrupt
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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