Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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