Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
