this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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