it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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