I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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