its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
