his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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