question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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