I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
