I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
