I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
babies were throwing up all over the place
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
