My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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