Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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