After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
