I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
