I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
