I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
