You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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